Tuesday, February 20, 2007

We know more than you think

It was late one evening and I was the supervisor on duty at my old Comfort Inn gig.

The building had two wings. The original one had no separate climate control units, either the heat/AC was on or it was off. In the spring and fall months we tried to check most guests into the newer wing which did have individual units in the rooms.

A gentleman and his wife check in with me, I put them in the new wing, and everything goes A-OK.

In the evenings we did not have an engineer on duty, he was on call. In the event of burnt out lightbulbs and various things like that, we took care of ourselves. If a room had bigger problems, we just switched the guests to a different room.

A few minutes after checking in the couple, the husband calls me.

Great, I think. They only call right away if something's wrong with their room. It's the least desired phone call to answer.

"Ma'am," he says to me. "Our room is way to warm!" He sounds pretty pissed.

I am not about to call the engineer if all it ends up being is some idiot who doesn't know how to turn his A/C on. It happens all the time.

I tell him someone will be right up, and I ask a coworker to cover the desk.

I'm about halfway down the hall when I hear moaning and grunting, the unmistakable sounds of people screwing.

I get to the couple's room, stop in front of it, and realize it's the couple.

C'mon! I mean, I just told them someone was coming to their room. I wonder if maybe they were trying to get in a quickie before someone knocked, to create some kind of excitement I suppose.

I stand there for a moment, listening to the wife moaning really loudly, and I decide I cannot just wait for them to be done.

I go back to the desk, and I am too embarrassed to give them a call. I really don't want to go back either. I decide I'll wait for them to call again wondering where somebody is. They have to call back, right? Not my fault they decided to fuck when they were expecting someone.

They never call.

The next morning I'm back in and the horny couple checks out with me. Fuck! They recognize me.

"Hey! I complained about our room being too warm last night and no one ever came to take a look!"

As I look back and forth from husband to wife images fill my head of them doing it.

"I'm sorry, sir!" I apologize. I am at a loss. If I tell them I tried to help but didn't, what do I say?

He just sort of grunts and they walk away.

Lesson to you: We hotel people know that after we check in a couple that they are probably going to screw immediately upon entering the room. Watch the volume, k?

2 comments:

Moderator said...

This is a very interesting blog. I used to know a few concierges in Chicago. Oh the stories they could tell.

Anonymous said...

My days as the overnight bellman are filled with this kind of story. Sliding checkout forms under doors to the sounds of hot monkey sex. Good times.